Pretty much as soon as I announced that I was starting to blog again regularly, I was bored with it. This is why I shouldn't announce things. It's that knock on wood, don't say it or it won't happen jinxy thing. Except with really fickle inspiration mojo. However, I have been playing around with podcasting, nothing shareable yet but something may be coming at you soon. In the meantime here we are...
I have a week off of school, which is much needed. This summer burnt me out. Not literally, thankfully, I managed to hide from the sun enough to not get the dreaded burn. However mentally my brain is a fried edge on a sidewalk. For that reason, this week I'm doing the things that give me life... my projects, painting, going to the gym, and playing with my kids.
Now, most people do house projects on their weeks off, and I will be getting my house back to decent livable standards. But for this week my other projects like learning podcasting and FINALLY finishing a solid draft of the workbook I'm writing.
Those two things have something important in common: finally finishing stuff that God has lead me to do.
Lately, or maybe always, I've been freaking out about my future. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, and I'm already grown. For most of my childhood through college, I had one distinct idea: I was going to be a journalist. Then I realized I was bad at that, and went into non-profit public relations. I loved it. I started a career in that and was pretty good at it too. When I became a stay at home mom, went through tons of life stuff that changed both who I was and what my priorities are, and now I'm starting over. Going to school is helping, but I'm getting antsy. I'm ready to be where I am going.
I've had to remember a life lesson recently... because I need to learn a lesson about 12 times before it actually sticks... and that is the reminder that before I should be worried and obsessed over where God wants me in the future, I need to finish what He has already called me too.
How annoying is that? I mean, sure there is a rhyme or reason, and it's never steered me wrong, but so annoying when I'm ready to move on to a new season. Here is the catch, it's often the tiny, seemingly insignificant things, like saying hey to an old friend, finally signing up to volunteer for the soup ministry, or finishing a book you've been writing for four years, but in reality, it's still all following God.
Pastor Michael Holmes once said, if you are not hearing from God, go back to the last place you heard Him and go from there. I'm hearing God, and "Wait" is the word I'm getting. This makes me nauseous, antsy, and anxious to extreme levels. But I get lost in the waiting. I lose sight of where I'm going or why I am there. I still need a focus. And so, taking a twist to Holmes' message, I'm going back to where I last heard God. I'm doing that while I wait for the next step. I've done this before, and God's always come through. So why, oh, why, does it take me so long to learn a lesson?
Do you have any of those things left to finish? Any of those leadings you didn't follow? Or is it just me?